


May I Hold You As You Fall To Sleep?

by Janie94



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Comfort/Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 16:36:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12391935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janie94/pseuds/Janie94
Summary: Robert has a horrible nightmare, but fortunately his boyfriend is there to comfort him…





	May I Hold You As You Fall To Sleep?

**Author's Note:**

> I initially wanted to write this story for Valentine’s Day last February, but then I chose to write ‘Eternal Love’ instead, I’m not sure if everybody would have approved of this choice, given what I did to the characters in the latter. ;-)
> 
> I wanted to write something short for Robert and Thomas again, I really missed them and this story was the first that came to my mind. If you liked it, please leave some feedback in form of kudos and/or comments. :-)
> 
> The title is a line from the beautiful song ‘May I’ from Trading Yesterday.

 

 

**May I Hold You As You Fall to Sleep?**

 

 

It was almost midnight by the time Robert finally gave in to exhaustion and laid – or rather  _fell_ – down onto his bed, feeling absolutely drained. Forming coherent thoughts was far too much effort, but Robert still knew he shouldn't be pushing his boundaries like he had been doing for the past week. It had taken its toll on both his body and his mind, making him feel tired of absolutely everything and the drugs he had been taking to make it through the day without his head feeling like it got split in two, hadn’t been helping matters either. Now he just wanted to sleep and never wake up again. He contemplated shuffling closer to the warm body next to him, but his boyfriend was already asleep and Robert didn't want to wake him. So he merely closed his eyes and within seconds he was sucked into darkness...

 

_The heavy silence in the car had been stretching for almost an hour now, the only sound the roaring of the car while it was speeding through the night, its usually very careful driver completely ignoring the speed limits._

_Eventually Robert couldn’t take it anymore and he turned towards Thomas. “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I didn’t want to bother you with this, you already had enough problems of your own with Jack being severely sick.”_

_The younger man’s fingers were gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles had turned white, his gaze fixed on the street. “You’re not seriously using_ _one of_ _my horse_ _s_ _as an excuse, are you? Why don’t you just admit that you still have feelings for him? It’s not like I didn’t know about that before.”_

_Thomas’ voice was uncharacteristically mocking, making Robert flinch as though he had been slapped. “I loved him once upon a time and yes, maybe I still do. But whatever we shared is long past, I was the one walking away from him. I chose to leave him. For you, I might add.” He hadn’t meant to sound so accusing but it hurt him that Thomas doubted Robert’s feelings for him, even after all this time._

“ _I never asked you to do that,” Thomas told him harshly. “I tried so hard to stay away from you for the sake of your relationship but you didn’t let me.”_

“ _Yes, because I have fallen in love with you!” Robert retorted with a hint of desperation in his voice. He could tell from Thomas’ silence that he didn’t believe him, not completely. Robert’s anger faded as sudden as it had appeared and he reached over to touch Thomas’ arm softly. “It was Marco who kissed me, not the other way around. And I still have feelings for him, but how could I not after the two years we had been together? I already told you how many times we were fighting towards the end of it, how possessive he got of me. I guess he was just afraid of losing me when we wouldn’t be able to see each other that often any longer. I was even a bit relieved when the season was finally over and I moved to Munich, just to have a bit of space from him.” Robert paused, a little smile spreading on his face when he added, “And then you came into my life.” For the first time since they had started driving, Thomas met his gaze even if it was just for a short moment, returning his attention to the street immediately. But it had been long enough for Robert to see that Thomas was afraid and insecure rather than angry_ _and so he added,_ _“Remember what our teammates used to say about us? That you made me smile in a special way? Well, they were right, for you made me feel cherished and loved again. Whenever you looked at me, all I could see in your eyes was happiness. In the beginning it was so overwhelming to be around you, but then I found myself seeking you out just so that you would look at me like that. Whenever I was around you, I felt whole. And that hasn’t changed in the slightest.”_

_Thomas swallowed hard and he met Robert’s eyes again. “You really make it hard for me to stay angry with you when you say things like that.”  
Robert’s smile widened. “Then don’t be.”_

_Thomas let out a heavy sigh and turned back to look through the windshield, but Robert could see that he was reliving the same memories as he did. Their first training session together during which Thomas hadn’t been able to keep his eyes from him. The first time Robert stayed at Thomas’ place for the night, both of them having fallen asleep on the couch. Their first date when a very nervous Thomas had taken him to a noble restaurant just for both of them to earn scandalized looks from the other guests when Robert started to make very inappropriate noises during dessert just to make poor Thomas uncomfortable._

_Robert had to chuckle at the last memory. He could still vividly remember how quickly Thomas’ face had turned tomato red, his eyes dropping to Robert’s tongue_ _that_ _took_ _its_ _time licking the spoon clean in the most sensuous way_ _Robert_ _was capable of. How Thomas had started to fidget in a vain attempt to hide his arousal…_

_He let the memory rest and chose to focus on the Thomas sitting next to him, carefully scanning his face. The younger Münchner sighed heavily before saying in a regretful tone. “I’m sorry for overreacting like I just did. You have never given me any reason to doubt you and I should have not been that furious with you just because Marco kissed you. It’s not your fault, darling.”  
Robert smiled relieved. “You don’t have to apologize to me. You were right, I should have told you sooner about this. But I was afraid of your reaction.”_

“ _What made you change your mind now?” Thomas asked curiously._

“ _I promised myself I would never keep secrets from you. And I felt as though not mentioning that kiss, gave it an importance that it didn’t deserve. Marco kissed me, so what? I love you from the bottom of my heart and one little kiss couldn’t make me doubt my feelings. You are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, Thomas. You know that.”_

_Thomas turned his gaze towards him again, a fond smile on his lips. “Yes, I do. And I love-“_

_Thomas was cut off by a deafening sound and suddenly their world seemed to tilt. It happened too fast for Robert to realize what was happening, his vision spinning, his ears filling with the screeching sound of_ _yielding_ _metal and a moment later there was utter silence. Robert wasn’t sure if he had blacked out for a moment or not, slowly turning his head to the side to rearrange his view. It took him longer than it should to realize that he was hanging upside down in the car, the seatbelt digging painfully into his chest and lower abdomen. He coughed several times, wincing when he realized that he was spitting blood. He wasn’t feeling any pain_ _yet_ _thanks to the adrenaline, but when Robert braced his hands against the deformed roof of the car underneath him, he could see that he had several ugly bruises and there was a long cut on his forearm that was oozing blood._

_Robert screamed when he felt a sharp pain at his wrist as he tried to support himself and finally anxiety cut through his shock. He turned to the side and let out a shrill whimper when he saw the state Thomas was in._

_His boyfriend was also hanging upside down in his seat but he was unconscious and he was covered in blood. And worst of all he didn’t appear to be breathing. Robert didn’t realize that he was screaming, didn’t realize that they weren’t alone, that someone from outside was talking to him. He wasn’t capable of seeing, hearing or feeling anything besides the all-consuming agony of seeing the man he loved dead…_

 

“Wake up, Robert!”

His eyes snapped open and he all he could see was utter darkness. But there was the warmth of a familiar body right beside him, accompanied by the scent of love and protection and he turned towards it instinctively, hiding his face against the naked chest as he started to cry uncontrollably.

He could hear a worried “Robert?” coming from above his head and then there were strong arms around him, holding him tightly in their embrace.

Robert sobbed hard but tried to reply to the unspoken question. “I-I dream ed of th-the accident! We-we were f-f-fighting and then y-you were dead!” 

It was all he could manage before it became too much to bear and the tears were streaming down his face. The arms around him tightened their grip immediately, giving him the comfort he needed right now. “Hush, love, it’s going to be alright. It was just a nightmare.” They both knew that wasn’t entirely true, it  had been a very real memory. One that had haunted Robert for several weeks even though Thomas’ arms around him confirmed that Robert hadn’t lost him like he had thought in that moment. “I love you, Thomas,” he whispered into his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Please never leave me again! I couldn’t live a life without you!”

“I know,” Thomas whispered against his ear before slowly turning them until Robert was lying underneath him. “And I promise that I will always be there for you. I won’t leave you, Robert.”

Finally Robert could take deep breaths again and he was able to shed the last fears of his nightmare from his mind, looking up at the from the faint moonlight illuminated silhouette of Thomas. “Will you make love to me? Please.”

Thomas tensed visibly and though it was too dark for Robert to see his face, he could feel his conflicting emotions, how torn he was between comforting Robert and staying reasonable. "Lewy, you are disturbed after that nightmare. It wouldn’t be very sensible of me to have sex with you now.”

“Please,” Robert repeated desperately. “I need to feel you inside of me. I need you to make it go away.”

Thomas hesitated for the tiniest moment before he stroked over Robert’s cheek tenderly, the feather-light touch making the striker shiver. “If that is what you need, then I will do it.” Thomas sat up and reached for the drawer, but when Robert got his  in tention, he stopped him by gripping his wrist. “No, I want you to take me without any barrier separating us.”

To his surprise Thomas shook his head. “I already knew that before. I just wanted to get the lube.” Robert opened his mouth to protest, yearning for the pain that would come with Thomas taking him unprepared, but apparently the latter was able to guess his wish because Thomas tensed again. “No, Robert. I won’t take you without lube. You said you wanted me to make love to you. And tell me, have I ever made love to you without having prepared you before?”

Robert bit his lip as he thought back to all the times that they had made love to each other, to the many times that Thomas had  thrust into him so torturously slow until Robert had begged him to move  faster .

“No, you didn’t,” Robert replied and his yearning for Thomas to replace the pain of the nightmare with the one of his love faded as sudden as it had appeared. He let go of Thomas’ wrist and watched him take out the bottle of lube. The younger man coated his fingers generously before leaning down to capture Robert’s lips in a tender kiss. The older one trembled, realizing only now how badly he had needed to feel his boyfriend’s lips on his and he took charge of it immediately, deepening the kiss and teasing Thomas’ lips with his tongue until they parted to invite him in. He was so immersed in the kiss that he barely felt the finger teasing his entrance, Thomas above him all he could focus on. Robert quickly felt dizzy with how forcefully he was attacking Thomas’ mouth and claiming it, but the younger man eventually drew back before Robert could faint from the lack of air. “I love you, Lewy, I love you so much!” Thomas whispered and he sounded like he was crying himself. Robert drew back perplexed. “Why are you crying?”

Thomas wiped his face with his free hand. “I can’t stand to see you like this, love. I had hoped that the nightmare would stop haunting you, that you would become better with time. It breaks my heart to hear you screaming every night and not being able to help you.”

Robert cupped his face firmly, waiting until Thomas had calmed down again until announcing, “You’re helping me now. By being here with me and offering me the comfort I need. I can imagine how hard it must be for you to see me like this, but it will fade with time. Until the paramedics sedated me, I thought you were dead and I had lost you. It has only been a few weeks since the accident, just have a bit more patience with me, please.”

Thomas leaned down again, his nose nuzzling the crook of Robert’s neck and his soft quiff of hair tickling Robert’s earlobe. “Don’t worry, I will give you all the time you need. You’re right, such things take time.”

They kissed again, softer this time as Robert allowed Thomas to take charge, surrendering completely to the man he loved. The younger one had stopped crying but there was still desperation in the way he pressed Robert into the sheets, his right hand resuming its task of preparing the striker for their love-making. His index finger slipped into Robert’s hole without meeting any resistance and Thomas instantly added a second finger, drawing a low gasp from his lover that was immediately swallowed by Thomas’ mouth.

Robert was already trembling in anticipation, feeling those fingers spreading him open and he whined into Thomas’ mouth with unmistakable impatience. His lover drew back from his lips and this time Robert’s gasp was audible when he felt a third finger inside of him. 

“You’re too tight, Lewy, you need to relax,” Thomas whispered softly and Robert tried to obey, relaxing back into the sheets. He turned his head to watch Thomas slowly stroking himself and he silently cursed the dark night for not allowing him to see the action in more detail. “Can I do that?” Robert asked without thinking and Thomas stopped surprised. 

“Of course,” was all he said as he remained kneeling on the bed, his hand dropping to the side while Robert wrapped his own around Thomas’ half-hard cock. He stroked him carefully, reveling in the low sounds of pleasure the younger one was making for him and he couldn’t stop himself from saying in a teasing voice, “In my memory your cock was bigger.”

Thomas didn’t laugh like Robert would have expected him to, he had always responded jovial to Robert’s jokes about the – admittedly very impressive – size of his cock. This time he merely let out a forced grin. “Well, seems like your memory is not exactly the best.” Robert’s response was cut off by the next kiss and he tightened his grip around Thomas’ manhood, stroking it with more pressure. He whimpered at the sudden loss of Thomas’s fingers, but then he felt the younger one’s hand around his wrist. “I think that’s enough.” He didn’t need to say anything more.

Robert let go of his cock, his breath faltering when Thomas positioned himself between his thighs and gripped them tightly to lay them over his shoulder. “I love you, Robert. Don’t you ever forget that.” Without waiting for a reply he pushed forward, burying himself to the hilt into Robert’s heat. The striker moaned at the intense feeling, not being used to Thomas taking him like this but he was far from complaining. He closed his eyes, reveling in the way the slight burn of pain turned into pleasure when Thomas thrust into him, first hard and desperate as though  _he_ had been the one suffering from the nightmare instead of Robert, then slow and gentle as though he had just remembered his own words from earlier.

He sounded like he was sobbing again and Robert opened his eyes to look up at him, trying to reassure him like Thomas had just done. “I’m so glad to have you, Thomas. I meant what I said to you in the car all those weeks ago.” He groaned as he felt his own climax approaching fast and he tried to prolong it for a moment to enlighten his confused boyfriend. “That I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Thomas cried out and he went rigid as he came inside of Robert, something so raw and vulnerable about the way he came that Robert followed him right after, arching his back towards Thomas when he reached his climax, the white spurts of his release covering their stomachs. He was grateful that Thomas didn’t try to pull out right after, staying inside of his lover for a few moments longer and shifting their positions until they were lying side by side. They didn’t speak but there was no need to, all they wanted to feel was each other. Robert greedily buried his face against the younger one’s chest, putting his arms around the slim hips to keep him from bringing some distance between them.

He smiled when he could feel Thomas pressing a soft kiss to his temple. “Sleep now, Lewy. I will still be here when you wake up, no matter what you dream of in your nightmares.” 

And Robert believed him, closing his eyes obediently and falling into a deep slumber…

 

His lover waited until the even breathing assured him that Robert was indeed sleeping before pulling out of him as carefully as he could and gently disentangling himself from his embrace. He couldn’t keep himself from kissing Robert’s hair again, a fond but at the same time sad smile appearing on his face. “It will get better soon, Robert. I will do everything you need me to as long as it helps you overcom ing your trauma.” 

He stood up then and left the bedroom, hoping that Robert wouldn’t wake in the meantime. He searched the pockets of his jacket for his phone and called the first contact that came to his mind.

Manuel picked up after the sixth ring. “ _Have you seen what unholy time it is?! Please tell me you have a very valid reason for calling me in the middle of the night!”_

“It’s about Robert,” the younger one responded. 

There was a heavy pause at the other end of the line before Manuel responded suddenly wide awake. “ _What happened? Did he have the nightmare again?”_

“Yes, but it was worse than usual. He was an emotional mess when I woke him up and then he asked me to make love to him.”

“ _And did you?”_ Manuel asked him after a moment, his voice sounding sympathetic.

“It seemed to help him,” was all the younger one responded defensively. “He is sleeping right now.”

“ _That’s already a big improvement from last time. It takes time for him to process the accident, you don’t have to be worried. Robert is strong, he will overcome it in time.”_

There was a whimper coming from the bedroom, followed by Robert’s confused voice. “Thomas?”

“I’m coming, love!” his boyfriend responded before lowering his voice again, his earlier desperation returning full-force. “I don’t think he is improving at all. He called me Thomas ever since he woke up.”

It was completely silent for a long moment, then Manuel responded in a hollow voice.  _“I will come over in the morning. We will figure it out, just take care of him in the meantime.”_

“Thomas?” Robert asked again, this time with a hint of panic in his voice, causing Marco Reus to end the call and return to the bedroom as fast as he could. Robert relaxed when he saw him approaching the bed. “Where were you? I thought you had left me.”

Marco climbed back onto the bed, a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes appearing on his face. “I could never leave you, I promised you that.”

Robert smiled back, his eyes filling with love when he pulled at Marco’s arms until the blond was almost draped over him. He didn’t say anything, merely snuggling closer to the younger one 's chest . This time Marco waited until Robert succumbed to sleep again before allowing his own tears to fall…


End file.
